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I’m seven years old sitting in the top bunk of the bunk bed my sister and I shared, I hear my a pa tell my a ma “yo no se haber tu como te las areglas” as the puerta is slammed shut and the white small car screeches onto the street where my father will most likely be betraying our family. Who I am as a person comes mainly from my childhood, having to hear my parents argue constantly. It was so common for me to witness my parents having arguments, growing up it was only my older sister and I. I remember feeling the tension in the room and there was no way to escape these arguments because we lived in such a tiny house. We only had one bedroom and that was my haven as they argued either in the kitchen or living room. But a thin wall was not enough, I sat there silent and scared when doors were being slammed, and disgusting words were being exchanged between them. I wished they would have gotten divorced because I hated having to hear them fight and I hated the silence and awkwardness that was felt in the house after each awkwardness. As a child to me my dad was always the hero of the story and my mom was the villain who was trying to start all the fights, but as I got older I began to see the story differently. Once I was older I learned the truth behind all the arguments, about my mom being hurt because of how my dad would treat her and because of the affair he had. My mom had a lot to consider if she ever decided to leave my dad. She did not have citizenship at that time, did not have a steady income to support my sister and I, and she would have nowhere to go if she left my dad. On top of that my dad would threaten my mom if she ever decided to leave, he told her he would not offer financial support at all for my sister and I. My mom, who I feel indebted to, stayed with my dad because of my sister and I, so we could have the opportunities that she could not give us. I learned about this as I got older and it hurt me because as a child I was closer to my dad and I idolized him too much. Learning about how my dad would treat my mom and the past mistakes he did, plays an important role as to who I am as a person. My dad was supposed to protect me from heartbreaks but he ended up being the first person to break my heart and disappoint me. And because of this, now that I am older I learned not to depend on anyone and not to put someone on such a high pedestal because they are not superheroes, they are just flawed human beings. Realizing this, I swore to myself that I would seek success in life so I’m never in a similar situation like my mother. I’ve learned my lesson on never depending on anyone so when my little sister was on her way, I knew when I saw my dad’ expressionless face that I could not count on him to support my mom with the pregnancy. Once again I felt the same pain I felt when I was twelve when I realized I couldn’t depend on my father for anything.
I became more nurturing and considerate for others. Now as a person I always want to make sure people feel safe and comfortable in their environments. Also I became interested in social activism, one of the first topics I became interested in was about domestic violence and the machismo that surfaces the Latino culture.