How Being Salvadoran Affected Me
My story begins in a small town in El Salvador where my parents met and fell in love. After their courtship started my father was drafted into the military to serve in the civil war while my mom stayed back in their small town. As the war went on my dad realized how dangerous things were and decided to leave the country and go to the United States. After being in America for a year he saved enough money to pay a guide to bring my mom to the states and they were reunited. After years of being in this country they had my brothers and I and started a life in the Bay Area.
Growing up my parents kept to their traditional Salvadoran values and traditions and I struggled to find the balance between “American culture” and “Salvadoran culture”. My first experience with a cultural difference was when I entered school and did not know how to speak English. I was brought up speaking Spanish at home so once I went to school I struggled to interact with my peers. I was embarrassed that I wasn’t able to say certain words or that I couldn’t always understand what others were saying. Along with my inability to speak perfect English, I developed a slight stutter. This stutter combined with me not knowing English perfectly, made it impossible for me to speak out loud. I went through a phase where I was terrified to raise my hand or get called on because of the possibility of me pronouncing the answer wrong or stuttering. Even now I have moments where I fear getting called on because of my fear of messing up or my stutter coming out. Since I was a child at the time this really affected me, but now I realize that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I am extremely grateful that my parents brought me up speaking Spanish and I am glad they passed this part of their culture to me.
While I experienced the cultural difference as a child, I saw that it was more relevant when I became a teen. Once I entered high school I wanted to be like any other teenager and go to parties and hang out with my friends, but my parents were stuck on their traditional ways. In El Salvador they have this ideology that girls should be going to school, cooking, cleaning and keeping things in order at home. Going out with friends was looked at as unnecessary and boyfriends were not discussed so you know my love life was nonexistent. It was hard to maintain a social life when my parents were extremely strict and didn’t understand what it was like being a teenager in this country and in this time period. My friends would get mad at me for never being able to hang out or having to cancel when my parents didn’t approve of my plans, but it’ not like I had a choice. I struggled with wanting to be a normal teenager and keeping my parents happy and it was frustrating at times. I tried extremely hard to find a balance and once I was a senior my parents began to understand that having a social life was important to me. While it took a long time for my parents to see my point of view, I was happy that my parents and I were able to find compromise on this.
As of right now my story makes it look like being Salvadoran had just negative affects on my life, but that’ not the case. Since my parents were determined to keep El Salvador a part of my life, that meant frequent trips to that small town where they first met. On one of my trips to El Salvador I realized just how blessed I was in life. I would see girls my age or younger walking in the heat selling objects to help their families survive. I would see kids without shoes or tattered clothes because their parents couldn’t afford to buy them new ones. These trips opened my eyes and made me realize the real daily struggles people go through. After this realization I decided I wanted to help in any way that I could and give back to this town were my parents grew up. While I used to go to El Salvador just to vacation and be with family, now I go with the intent to help people and make things easier for them in any way my family and I can. My experiences in El Salvador have in a way humbled me and have made me appreciate all aspects of my life.
Growing up I didn’t realize the importance of keeping my Salvadoran culture relevant in my life, but now I do. While finding the balance between my parent’ country and the country I was born in was difficult at times, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Not being able to speak perfect English and not having a great social life seemed like such big issues to me at the time, but they were actually not a big deal. Being able to see what things are like for people in El Salvador has made me more appreciative and overall I think has made me a better person. As a child and teen I saw these cultural differences as just being negative, but now I can see the positive impacts they have had on my life.