“Home Is Where The Heart Is”
It wasn’t until the fourth night after stepping in the States, that I truly became aware of where I exactly was. It was not the jet lag, it was the excitement, the thrill to catch the first glimpse of one of the world’ best cities, Los Angeles, that kept me from realizing what I had left behind. I came to the states in my high school junior year, with a reserved personality; however, I have learnt that I am able to expand my horizon. I come from a place and a family where the commanding authority is in the hands of my parents, so therefore I had to accept my fate when they had decided my career. I had found my passion after hearing their words because they are much more experienced and hardworking than I could ever imagine to be. In the end, they just want what is best for me.
I did not know that my arrival to this country would be my destiny, but it had happened; they say our past shapes us for who we are right now. However, my past has already shaped my future. I was prematurely born and as a result I had some diseases such as pneumonia and asthma. My situation was so dire to the point where even doctors gave up. My lungs were not strong enough to take in the city’ polluted air, and as a result, the doctors advised my parents that it would be better if they sent me away from the city for some years. Due to the situation of my parents both having jobs, they decided to drop me off with my grandparents who lived in a village. I lived with my grandparents for five years, but my parents would visit me often. I developed a strong bond with them, because they were the people I grew up and was able to thoroughly enjoy my “childhood” with. I started calling my grandmother, “Ma”, which I still do to this day, and also have more of a connection with her more than I do with my own mother. My mom always tells me the stories about how much my grandmother took care of me as a child, and how much she would worry for my life. It does not trouble me to say that yes, it was my mom to give me birth, but ultimately, it was my grandmother who gave me a life.
The village having clean air started to improve my health and by the time I was five, my parents thought of bringing me back to the city and start my education. However, I was not fully recovered. Still being sick, I was not able to focus in class, and would have to visit the doctor often. Upon my grandma finding out this information, she came to take care of me in the city. Gradually, I started healing because of homeopathy medicines, and by the time I was 11 I was fully recovered. Even though I was a normal human being, I didn’t really feel normal until I was 11 years old. I had some restrictions and being at a young age those restrictions were kind of tough. Primarily, I couldn’t partake in any high paced activities. Secondly, I had some dietary restrictions and those included me not being able to eat sweets. As a kid, both of those restrictions were tough, because all of my friends would play sports and eat ice cream, but I wasn’t able to.
Coming back to the fourth night after moving into the States, I watched a Gujarati movie “Kevi Rite Jaish?” (English: How will you go?), which my friends suggested I watch before coming to the US, that night. The movie is based on a person who tries to move to the States for a better future, but does not have the courage to leave his parents, his loved ones. And that reminded me of mine. That night was the darkest night of my life, it was the only night when I cried my eyes out. In the excitement of coming to the states, I totally forgot about my grandma. I did not even have guts to talk to her over the phone for some days after that. She is and will be the most important person in my life. Today, if something were to happen to her, I would not be able to forgive myself. She is just alive to see my sisters and I become successful. One can never understand the deeper meaning behind the bond with the person they are attached to until they are separated from them.