Sense of Self
The teenage years, especially the high school days, are some of the most confusing times of our lives. During that period of time, we are figuring out who exactly we are, going through many things to find our sense of self. This was my problem. High school was a whole new experience, there are a ton of new clubs to join and a bunch of new people to meet. Freshmen year was the year where I was just beginning to adjust. I was getting used to the transition from middle school to high school and with time, I finally settled in and found my group of friends. I was comfortable. Maybe too comfortable. It had gotten to the point where I was just living my day as a cycle, each day the same as the previous. I would wake up, throw on a hoodie and jeans, head to school and sit through seven classes, bus home, do homework, go to bed, and repeat this process every day. I had a routine to my life but it was at the point where it was just boring. I did not feel as if I were doing anything productive and I really wanted to put myself out there and to do something that was outside my regular daily life. I wanted to be more than just a student, I knew I had to do things that were not for myself. As confused as I was about my identity and who I was, I have always known aspects of it. For one thing, I love kids. I work really well with them and I’ve always had a passion for helping others. Knowing this, I had an epiphany and realized that I could put those two together and potentially do something I might end up loving. I talked to my best friend about this and she suggested for me to sign up for Reading Partners. Reading Partners is an organization where high schoolers and older would go to an elementary school and help one-on-one with the students who needed the extra help. I signed up and started as soon as possible. I was partnered with an elementary school, Cleveland Elementary School, and there I was committed to volunteering at the school for 2 hours a day after I was done with my daily 8-hour school day. Every Wednesday, I would get off of school, go home, then head right out the door and to Cleveland Elementary School. After a full day of class at my school, I was always exhausted and dreaded leaving home to go out to interact with more people. All I wanted was to take a nap but I had a commitment to the program and I knew I couldn’t leave them hanging. Week after week, I would drag myself out the house again and the moment I arrived at the school and saw the bright red building with the playground full of kids running around playing tag, I was instantaneously cheered up. I walked past bright blue slides and hopscotch squares and into the school, bringing back all the memories I had 10 years ago. The elementary school kids that were part of the program were the ones that were falling behind in school, so this gave me a sense of purpose to be helping them out. I walked into the school, signed in and got prepared, then picked up my assigned student and took them to the designated room filled with books for the tutoring session. Not once did the tutoring session feel like a job or chore to me. I wanted to make the learning experience as engaging and fun as I could while still assisting and teaching them the lessons that were set out for that day. We read books together, went over sentence structures, worked on reading comprehension, and many other activities depending on the student. Besides just being there as a tutor for them, I was also there as someone they could talk to. It was precious to hear their stories about their friends, family, or their day in general. The best part about being part of Reading Partners is that I was able to combine two of the things I loved, working with kids and helping others, and the worries I had about school and life were temporarily off my mind. As busy as school kept me, I’ve always wanted to do more. I made it my missions to put myself out there to do more and I did just that. I had found something that I loved and it was even better that it benefitted someone else more than it benefitted me. Each week after the session, I would walk out of the school in a state of happiness. As time went on, I had more commitments for school and I was no longer able to have time put aside for Reading Partners. Although I had to stop my weekly tutoring sessions with the students, it was an experience that I’ll cherish and carry with me forever. The program and the students made me feel as if I had a sense of self, that I was doing more than just something for myself and that I was contributing to society. The postcard and drawing from my student that was sent to me will remain hung up on my wall as a reminder of the program that was my escape from the exhausting cycle of an 8-hour school day.