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A year ago in October of 2016 I got an implant in my left arm, little did I know that small stick of plastic would be responsible for the worst six months I have ever experienced. I woke up early on a saturday morning, which I was not happy about since I had already been running off of about four hours of sleep a day for the past year of my life. I took the 20 bus to planned parenthood alone. I remember sitting in the freezing waiting room and filling out some forms, I had to keep wiping the sweat from my palms on my shorts so that I could hold the pen properly. I lied about my address and put my best friend’s phone number as my emergency contact so prevent my parents from finding out what I was doing. A couple of hours later I left the clinic with a large gauze bandage compressing my upper arm, I hid it by wearing a sweatshirt even though it was at least 90 degrees that day. The day after I got the implant in my arm I laid in bed and cried uncontrollably for hours. Then I became extremely paranoid, depressed, sensitive, and confused by what I was feeling. Over the course of those two weeks I probably cried for about five hours straight every day. After that I calmed down slightly but I remained unstable and fell into fits of paranoia and sadness multiple times a week, which sometimes even led to suicidal thoughts. I felt like I was going crazy, and like I had lost control of my own mind. In addition to the psychological toll that these hormonal drugs took on me, I quickly gained weight and developed huge patches of acne on my cheeks which only made my feelings worse. I also bled every day for the entire six month that I kept the implant in my arm, which is extremely unhealthy and dangerous. It wasn’t until six months later that I finally had the implant removed. The medication took all of the feelings that had been influencing me subconsciously and brought them to the forefront of my mind, so much so that they were the only things I could think about. We all harbor harmful and mostly irrational thoughts in the back of our minds, but for me those were the only thoughts that I knew during those six months. This experience forced me to reflect on some of the unhealthy ways that I was processing information and interacting with my myself and my loved ones.I was forced to reevaluate the ways that I was treating myself and others, as well as my views about life and the world that I live in. I believe that I have become a much more aware, understanding, and gentle person due to this experience. My extremely negative experience with birth control also added a very personal link to an issue that I already felt strongly about. This experience solidified in my mind that the improvement of sexual health education and research is something that I will always be deeply involved with. Today when I think about reproductive health I feel helpless. I feel angry and scared. I feel like my body does not belong to me, and that my well being is in the hands of people who do not want what is best for me. It is no secret that the sexual education and reproductive health systems in the United States are disgraceful, but one day I would like to live in a world where all people are truly safe and healthy. I am extremely passionate about working to increase the spread of knowledge regarding sexual health, as well as the advancement of current knowledge through research. As a society having a healthy understanding of sexuality is extremely important for both intrapersonal and interpersonal well being.