Don’t Judge a Child by their Outfits
I was born a female, and I identify myself as a female, however I do not agree with the societal duties that come with being a female. It is always about appearances: my hair, my face, my outfit. Everything needs to look nice and match. My mother would always make sure I looked socially acceptable before taking me to Cleo Gordon Elementary. She would always dress me in girly clothes and brush my long hair out. Although the outfits were fashionable, I did not appreciate how tight the shirt and jeans were, especially when I was playing in the bark box or eating a big lunch. So, I thought about how I could be more comfortable. Around the start of my first grade school year, I began dressing in boy clothes. Mainly because I thought they were more comfortable than the tight and overly-decorated girl clothes, but also because to me it seemed like boys had a bit more fun. Boys would be free to play all kind of sports while girls played in the bark box. In addition to wearing what society deemed as “boy'” clothes, I didn’t like playing with barbies and polly pocket as much as I enjoyed playing with my Spider-Man and Scooby Doo toys. My mom and dad accepted what I wanted to wear and play with despite the comments and looks we would get whenever I was comfortable being myself in public. My grandmother, on the other hand, would plead every time we went to the Mervyn’ department store for me to go into the girl’ section and my aunt would ask me weird questions like “Do you like girls or boys?” An odd question to be asked when you are only seven years old. I didn’t even understand the idea behind sexuality at that age, let alone why that question would be asked. Due to my childhood innocence, these events didn’t really have an impact on me until I got older and realized why my family had acted like that. It wasn’t necessarily that my family didn’t want me to be whoever I was or just wear whatever I wanted, but it was the looks and the comments that they would receive whenever we were out in public. It was the societal influence that caused my family to worry about how I would be treated and drove them to insist on me conforming to societal views. After I had made that realization, I decided that I didn’t want to embarrass my family any longer. So at the beginning of middle school, I started to dress the way society wanted me to. The first day of 6th grade, I wore a pink shirt with a kitten and glitter on it and some tight jeans. I didn’t like how it felt wearing the uncomfortable clothes at first, however after awhile I got used to it and decided to keep dressing like that. After I had made the switch, no one bothered my family as much or questioned me about my identity and sexuality. I realized that people started talking to me more and I was gaining friends. All based upon my appearance. I chose this specific memory because for awhile I had forgotten about it. Mainly because I didn’t like how it felt to be isolated or judged at first glance just because I did not fit into the social norms of a girl. I had also been embarrassed; I believed that I had done something wrong. But I didn’t. People should not be embarrassed to show who they are at any age. Whenever I see people who seem lonely, I make an effort to show that person that they don’t have to be. With everyone I meet, I do not judge them based upon appearance, sexuality, race, etc. because we all deserve to feel comfortable and welcomed in an accepting society.