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It is hard to put down who you are on a piece of paper, and it really isn’t until you truly try that you’re able to see what your foundation is built on and who fills in the cracks along the way. My story starts at my earliest memory.
With ten tiny toes tightly curled around the edge of the kitchen chair and my ten sausage fingers lost in the mountain of sugar cookie dough that was placed on the island in front of me, I watched as my Mom abandoned the cookie cutter molds and started using her hands to shape the cookies. She laughed as she attempted to make a Santa and a Reindeer (both of which were nothing but ovals) and she screamed with joy as she successfully made a triangle, which she claimed was a Christmas tree. These were the absolute worst holiday cookies of all time! Three year old me didn’t hesitate to toss aside the molds. I immediately grabbed as much dough as my mitten like hands could and started making absolutely nothing that I claimed was everything; It was like when you look at clouds and say what you think each one is, because your mind is the only boundary. This tradition of making the ugliest holiday cookies our friends and family have ever received went on for years. And to this day if I were to ask my mom why we don’t just use molds like everybody else, all she says is, “today we are breaking the mold.” As I got older she started using the phrase in more applicable situations. When I would get made fun of for playing with the boys at school, when I wanted to wear shorts instead of skirts, and when I was the only one not invited to a party my mother would say, “today we broke the mold”. And when I got to high school and felt like a fish out of water in every sense of the phrase, she looked me in the eyes and said,”today we broke the mold”. The way she said these words empowered me, and the way her voice would get stronger as she said “we” let me know that I was never alone. Every decision I made, right and wrong, was made as a “we” and all the strength that one word carried.
When I decided to graduate early from high school I used that strength and support from the “we”. This was the scariest decision I have ever made, there was no plan in front of me and I was the only person I knew who wasn’t going to college right after they graduated. And although I was scared I knew I would be okay because I had this “we”, not “I” that was breaking the mold. My diploma came in the mail in August of 2016 and the next day I was thrust into the real world. I was a 17 year old living in a new city, with a new beginning. I got my first job and met people with stories never told in rural Virginia. I heard different languages spoken freely and often. All this newness and acceptance of individuality, and I still felt like an outsider. However, through it all I kept repeating “today we broke the mold” and it was easier to push through and make connections with the city and people around me. I wanted to keep feeling this pride of connecting with others and decided to take “breaking the mold” to a new level. I then decided to travel around the world and used the same strength that I had for my entire life, “we”. I decided to take every penny I earned in the past 6 months and gamble on myself. I bought a one way plane ticket around the world. Everything that I needed was packed into my backpack, which only weighed me down as I walked away from my “we” and comfort zone at the airport. I spent the next four months flying from country to country, becoming immersed in their different cultures, volunteering, and making connections. My time spent in Peru, Ghana, Thailand, and China were some of the best and worst experiences of my life. But through it all I was able to share my experiences with my “we” and lean on it for strength and support and I always knew I has something to come back to.
It wasn’t until I was asked “what makes you you?” That I looked back at my story and saw something that I had missed throughout all the years. This “we” wasn’t just Mom and me, it wasn’t a two person battle. The reason why the word and power behind it was so strong and able to propel me through life was because it held the power of three people behind it, one of which was a brick wall. I had completely overlooked who was behind every success story I had and who picked me up every time I fell. I missed the person waiting patiently in the background. I overlooked my father. While my mother was my backbone, my father was both of ours. The “we” that I was drawing all my strength from was derived from the strength and camaraderie from both my parents. Their unity and support of one another is the foundation on which I built my entire life. And While I grew up and my foundation got cracks they both filled them as fast as the could. Most importantly, while my mom shaped the cookies, my dad is the one who made the dough. While my dad was giving me the opportunity to be myself, my mom was teaching me that it was okay to stand out.